


Gilbert Has a Crisis

by manfish



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Fluff, Human Names Used, Humor, Kissing, M/M, New Years, Pining, im a sucker for a rarepair, only a little, this is the silliest thing. ever.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 04:25:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17196482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manfish/pseuds/manfish
Summary: When falling in love with a person it was the little things that got you the most. Gilbert had never realized this, but apparently, he’d also never fallen in love.Or at least not as hard as he had for Feliciano Vargas.





	Gilbert Has a Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> It's almost that time of year again, and I'm in the mood to write some bullshit.

When falling in love with a person it was the little things that got you the most. Gilbert had never realized this, but apparently, he’d also never fallen in love.

Or at least not as hard as he had for Feliciano Vargas.

It had started with a laugh. Namely, the snort that followed. Lovino had shown Feliciano a cat video, and he had laughed, and Gilbert felt as though the world had stopped in its tracks. There was something so pleasant, so sweet, so refreshing about that laugh, something that made Gilbert’s heart race and his chest constrict around it. Antonio had clapped him on the back, startling him out of whatever stupor he’d been stuck in, and that had been the end of it for a while.

But, over the following months, as he tagged along more and more frequently with Antonio to Lovino and Feliciano’s flat, it kept happening. Feliciano would thank him for getting something off the top shelf, his tone so genuine and sincere that it turned Gilbert’s legs to jelly. Feliciano would laugh at one of his jokes especially hard and it stole Gilbert’s breath. Feliciano would ask him to taste a sauce he’d made and it would be the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted. Feliciano, Feliciano, Feliciano.

When he’d first come to the realization, he’d been mortified. Gilbert Beilschmidt was straight. Heterosexual. He’d never been interested in another man in his life and didn’t plan to be.

Though, the more he thought about it, the more this attraction made sense. 

Feliciano was unlike any guy Gilbert had ever met. Feliciano was _beautiful._ He wasn’t handsome or good-looking, he was a Renaissance painting, all patient smiles and knowing glances. Feliciano had the idle air of royalty, and it was astounding to Gilbert that he wasn’t. Seeing Feliciano play Mario Kart and screeching at his brother when he was blue shelled was like seeing the Mona Lisa vape. All the same, it just added to Feliciano’s appeal.

After spending about two months avoiding Feliciano and agonizing over the initial confusion and guilt he felt, Antonio had stepped in. Avoiding Feliciano meant avoiding Lovino, which in turn meant avoiding Antonio, and that just could not stand. Antonio was blunt and asked all the wrong questions, and the truth came out in a hurry.

“Are you… Gil, you legally have to tell me if you’re involved in another pyramid scheme,” Antonio had said, frowning at his friend.

“No! I’m not… involved in a pyramid scheme. God, I’m just… can I just take time for myself?” Gil had grumbled, and Antonio frowned at him.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll tell Francis what’s going on and bring him over to analyze you.”

“I have a thing for Feliciano.”

There. He’d said it. For the first time ever, he’d said it out loud.

“If you were going to lie, you should’ve just stuck to pyramid scheme. It’s much more believable,” Antonio said with a grin.

“I’m not lying.” 

Antonio dropped his grin.

“What do you mean then? You’re straight.”

“Apparently not as much as I thought I was,” Gilbert sighed, leaning back on the couch. Antonio’s eyes followed him, refusing to let him be nonchalant about this.

“Is this some weird humiliation fetish thing? I’m not going to—“

“No, it’s not! I’m serious, Toni. I really like him,” Gilbert snapped, his tone surprising even himself. Antonio was quiet for a few moments.

“So when you say… a thing… you mean… romantically?” Antonio said slowly, piecing the information together.

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s weird.”

“Gee, thanks,” Gilbert muttered.

“No, don’t get me wrong, I get it,” Antonio laughed. “Trust me, I get it. But… Feliciano? I mean… he’s… a powdered donut of a man, Gil.”

“I know,” Gil sighed with a small smile. Antonio laughed at him then, but not out of malice.

But that was never the fear. Gilbert had never been afraid any of his friends would find his sudden gay streak disgusting. Hell, most people he interacted with were gay or in gay relationships. What he was worried about was how they’d react to who his attraction was aimed at.

Francis had been easy, as he always was, shouting an ‘I knew it’ and clapping Gil on the back. He hadn’t been too worried about telling Francis, because Francis saw the beauty in everyone, and Gilbert was almost certain that his friend saw Feliciano the exact same way he did.

The three of them agreed it would be best not to tell Lovino yet.

By that point, Gilbert was faced with a decision. He could ignore his feelings, grin and bear it, flirt shamelessly with women far out of his league to forget that pull in his stomach whenever he saw Feliciano smile, which was what he’d been doing. Or… _or…_

No.

Gilbert could never tell him. There were so many what-ifs to the situation. Too many factors. Gilbert would get over it. He’d gotten over heartbreak before. Countless women had turned him down, dumped him, broken his heart beyond repair and he was still going.

Only…

Feliciano _wasn’t a woman._ And he _hadn’t turned him down yet._ The territory was totally new. Unprecedented, and without any sort of closure.

So, he was stuck. He hung out at Lovino and Feliciano’s, hanging back and sharing glances with Antonio occasionally. He tagged along on outings, pushing the cart through the aisles of the grocery store. He leaned over the handle, following his three friends slowly. Antonio had his hand shoved in one of Lovino’s back pockets, and Feliciano was engrossed in his list.

Gilbert thought he looked most beautiful when he was focused. If you watched close enough, it was like you could see him thinking. Right then he had the tip of his pen pressed to his lips, tapping it against the bottom one as he read over his list. His brows were furrowed in concentration. He looked up at the shelves in front of him and Gilbert watched the lean muscles of his neck and arms move as he reached up for a can of—

“Hey!” Lovino’s voice snapped him out of it, and he realized he hadn’t stopped pushing the cart, and it was now pressed against Lovino’s side. Gilbert backed it up and laughed it off.

“Sorry, I… got distracted,” he muttered, shaking his head. Antonio caught his eye and frowned a little. He tilted his head minutely towards Feliciano.

“We’re gonna go look at the sweets,” Antonio announced as he began steering Lovino away. Smooth.

Now it was just him and Feliciano. It hadn’t been like this… well, for a while. And it had never been like _this._ Gilbert had no idea what to do with himself, first leaning against the cart and then standing up straight, looking at Feliciano and then training his eyes straight ahead on the rows of canned fruit. How had he ever acted like a normal human being around Feliciano before?

“Twenty bucks say they’re going to make out in the bathroom,” Feli says as he grabs a few cans of pineapple, and Gilbert’s laugh comes in the form of a bark.

“That was a weird sound… that I just made,” he muttered and Feliciano chuckled.

“Come on. I need stuff from the butcher and I don’t like talking to them,” he hummed, and Gilbert followed him like a lost puppy, almost forgetting the cart entirely. He didn’t though, grabbing the end and pulling it forward to grab the handle. 

“What do you need?” Gilbert asked, glancing at Feliciano as they walked.

“A pound of shrimp. Lovino wants to make this linguini thing. It’s really good, you should stay for dinner,” Feliciano said, smiling warmly at him. Gilbert’s grip on the cart handle tightened.

“Yeah maybe,” he practically whined. He wanted to punch himself. What was so hard about just having a conversation with Feli?

“Are you like… sick or something?” he asked. There were a few people in line at the butcher counter, and Gilbert stopped the cart behind the last person.

“No. Nope. Well… yeah. Actually, I’ve been feeling kind of ill,” Gilbert muttered, looking anywhere but Feliciano as he looked up at him. A cool hand pressed itself to Gilbert’s forehead, parting his bangs to feel his skin. Gilbert’s gaze snapped to Feliciano then, and he swallowed hard as he saw his expression. Focused, he stared at Gilbert intently as he felt his forehead. Feliciano’s skin was a pleasant temperature, not too cold and not too hot.

“You’re really cold,” Feliciano murmured, and Gilbert nodded minutely.

“Y-yeah, I always am, that’s not anything new,” Gilbert said, practically breathing the words.

“No, I mean like, really cold,” Feliciano said, frowning a bit. He moved his hand, laying the back of it against one of Gilbert’s cheeks. He was sure they were burning, they felt so hot he was afraid he’d start sweating. “Hm,” Feliciano finally said, pulling his hand away and nudging the cart forward in line. Gilbert finally breathed, swallowing hard past his dry throat. He pulled on the collar of his mock turtleneck, sighing again. It was almost their turn in line. At least he could turn his attention to someone, anyone, other than Feliciano.

And that he did. The butcher was tall and square and goodnaturedly joked with Gilbert as he retrieved their seafood. Gilbert introduced himself and wished him a good day as he took the small parcel of shrimp. He pulled the cart away, and Feliciano followed. 

“You’re so good at that,” he said with a small grin.

“What do you mean?” Gilbert asked, raising a brow as he looked over at the other.

“Talking to people. Being friendly.”

“Ah,” Gilbert chuckled. How ironic. “You learn to be when you look as strange as I do. If you give people something else to admire interactions go much smoother,” he said, and he was only half joking. It was the truth, after all.

“I don't think you’re strange looking at all,” Feliciano said, and the tone his words held made Gilbert want to propose to him right then and there. _That_ was why Gilbert had fallen in love with him.

So on New Years, when Lovino and Feliciano threw a party and invited practically everyone they knew, when Gilbert spotted Feliciano and Ludwig chatting when he watched Ludwig, _Gilbert’s brother, Ludwig_ , make Feliciano laugh, he almost lost his mind. He was sat on the couch, staring at the two in the kitchen, grip on his wine glass much too tight. Ludwig was _smiling_ , and Ludwig _never_ smiled. Ludwig got everything. Gilbert would be damned if he let him have Feliciano too.

A hand went to his shoulder, and he jumped at the contact, looking to his side to see Francis. His friend smiled, knowing and ever calming. Gilbert sighed and downed the rest of his glass of wine.

“Let’s get you another drink,” Francis said.

The next hour went by faster than Gilbert had wanted it to with red and white and beer and water Lovino was slipping into his hand occasionally between drinks. Before he knew it, the whole party was packed into the small living room, staring at the television and they’re chanting, counting down, beaming, Gilbert’s heart pounds with the thrum of the party. 

“3...2...1, Happy New Year!”

Cheap party poppers go off, and he watched as Lovino pulled Antonio down into a kiss. Francis had turned to whoever was beside him, and Gilbert realized he isn’t kissing anyone. He turned to his left and sees someone’s back. He turned to his right and sees… Feliciano, holding a champagne glass and grinning, a soft haze of alcohol and attention settled over his cheeks.

“Happy New Year, Gil,” Feliciano said and his voice sounded far away, and Gil _doesn’t like that,_ and his hands are moving, they grabbed the back of Feli’s neck and pull him forward, and he leaned in.

Gilbert doesn’t remember much from that night, but he will always remember that kiss.

It wasn’t as clumsy as he expected it to be. It was soft, Feliciano’s lips plush against his own. His grip on the other’s neck relaxed as they kissed, and slowly everything else in his body followed. He felt the most calm he’d ever felt, even though he could hear his heartbeat pounding away in his ears. Slowly the noise of the party around them returned, and he pulled away slowly. He breathed out, opened his eyes, and Feliciano still smiled at him.

“Happy New Year,” Gilbert sighed.


End file.
